Orange: Check it out, yo, we're back, back to back in the kitchen with my buddy, Pear Glasses!
Pear: Duck, fool!
Orange: Back with my big beautiful bushy beard, I stole it from a lumber jack, after I best his...
(Chicken chips, to Orange and Lumber Jack)
Orange: ...down!
Lumber Jack: Wuuuaaa... my beautiful beard...
Orange: Didn't you get the E-vite, we're throwing a party with arty and farty! (Grunting and farting)
(says to Orange)
Orange: We're getting all Bob ross up in the mother, making a portrait of yours truly using bacon...
Orange: ...bacon...
Orange: ...and more bacon!
(Title card says)
("Epic Peel Time: self pork-trait (bacon X bacon X bacon).")
Orange: Now, we start off with a big beautiful ball of pork! You know it's the cheeses that pleases! So, lay it on thick, Pear Glasses!
Pear: Duck, fool!
(Pear grunts, prok drops fat slingshot, with cheese)
Orange: Again. And again. Again, AND AGAIN!
(Pear grunts cheese throws conter)
Orange: That's right! Now hit them with the bacon strips!
(Pear grunts)
Orange: And bacon strips, and bacon strips!!
(Pear, Marshmallow and Midget Apple grunts too throws bacon strips)
Orange: And bacon strips, and bacon strips! And bacon strips...AND BACON STRIPS! (To Midget Apple and Marshmallow) Even Midgets think big when it comes to bacon!
Midget Apple: HEEEEEY!!
Orange: Don't believe the height, all the piggys went to market, even the little one, time to hit it with the jack! (To Grapefruit and Bacon) Sauce in the house! What is shaking, Bacon?
Bacon: WORD!!
Orange: Yeah, and the word is beard!
(Pear grunts, pulls the tight rope, and the beard Grapefruit's meat)
Orange: Beard that bad boy up and throw it in the deep fryer!
Grapefruit: Uaah!
Orange: Now deep fry the deep fryer!
Grapefruit: Uaah!
Orange: Once bitten, twice fried, reconize! (To Grapefruit) Time for the bacon cannon!
Grapefruit: (cannon whirring shoot pork)
Orange: Hit it with some chicken ride bacon strips, and bacon strips, and bacon strips, and...
Grapefruit: (record scratches, and stops the bacon cannon)
Orange: ...HEY! What are you doing? (To Grapefruit turns up) Turn that bacon gun up to maximum, fool!
Grapefruit: (launch shoots) MAXIMUM BACON!!
Orange: There you go, bro! You can't skimp when you're a bacon pimp!
Grapefruit: (keep shooting)
Orange: Time to float this mother down a slip and slide of spicy cheddar cheese!
Grapefruit: Uaah!
Orange: A wackity-wack, don't talk back, yo! Almost home! (The meat drops) Let's get this bad boy bearded up, hit him with the bacon bits, Pear Glasses!
Pear: DUCK, FOOL!!
(Fire bits Pear)
Orange: Old man winter can suck it, we have got a blizzard, of bacon beating down on the counter! (sees the Masterpiece of Meat) WHOA!! It's a Masterpiece of Meat, like a Picasso made of pork! It's almost too beautiful to-- LET'S EAT THIS THING!!
(Pear, Midget Apple, Marshmallow, Grapefruit and Orange humming stares at the food)
Marshmallow: Yay! I love bacon! (Lots of Marshmallow) NUMNUMNUMNUM-NUMNUMNUMNUM!!!
Orange: Huh?! (Burping side to he stick getting) Yo, next time! We eat, Liam!
Liam: Aw, crap!!!